Director’s note: The final two episodes of the 2010 season of Adventures in Fly-Fishing Retail are brought to you back to back, and without commercial interruption.
“It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you look while playing the game.” – Anonymous Lifetime Fly Angler
In or around the halfway point in life, many people panic. They wonder where the time went, question their state of being, and morph into deer-in-the-headlights. “How do I play the second half?” becomes the overwhelming question, then they move to Palm Beach, wreck a red Corvette, a subsequently become a Phish roadie.
For the devoted fly angler reaching the same period there is no decision – A River Runs Through It made that choice for them. They’ll drink fish even more than before, and hope that one of the young film bucks is passing by when they hook that trophy. They won’t have to write a novel to be memorialized on DVD. Easy, now all that remains is gearing up – after all, you don’t want to look bad for the camera.
Concerned about your appearance as you should be, I suggest stopping by Trout’s Fly Fishing. This establishment is at the forefront of fly-fishing fashion (hereinafter referred to as “FFF”, and not to be confused with the Federation of Fly-Fishers, which has since changed its acronym to “FOFF”). You singularly worry, looking like a top-shelf angler regardless of your skill set, will be quelled immediately.
Case-in-point: Fly shops have recently been reporting that women have shown a growing interest in fly tying, having seen increasing purchases of hackles from the demographic. At Trout’s appearance is Job #1, and the team saw this trend for what it really was – pretty hair. That’s right folks…much as flies can be dressed up with hackles of all varieties, salon workers are being sent out on scouting missions for their clients. Hanging grizzly from thy natural locks is the new in-thing, as model Rick Mikesell demonstrates…
The shop has a fresh shipment of Whiting Eurohackle in stock for fly anglers undergoing mid-life crises the extra fashion conscious.
In the grand scheme, there are two types of anglers. The first possesses patience. They can sit in the same hole all day, switching flies repeatedly. The hope is they will fool that fish they saw flash hours ago with the perfect faux meal. The second type figures if they are not catching fish it’s because there aren’t any fish there. They’ll move, and keep on moving, until they either find what they’re looking for or someone calls it beer o’clock.
Further differentiating, Angler Type 1 is ready and willing to read long-winded blog posts which attempt (most often vainly) to entertain. They can relate to the purveyor of the prose, mostly because they are bored shit-less over the winter months. Angler Type 2, however, immediately sees the words for what they are: the writer’s ability to weasel their way into employee discounts. #2 clicks on.
I hold a special category all my own, Angler Type 3. I’m bouncing off the walls while the sun rides low, but also understand that 99.99% of what is spewed upon these pages stinks to high heaven. And I’m sympathetic to that fact. So…instead of concluding this season’s Adventures in Fly-Fishing Retail by heaping praise upon myself (deserved as it may be), I’m going to leave you with a short pictorial tour of the shop instead.
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It’s a beautiful shop. But then again, looks are everything.
MG signing off (until next season)