How to drastically increasing your website’s bounce rate in three easy steps

Step 1: Construct salacious headlines that are sure to attract visitors to your pages

Step 2: Embed video content on your pages (near the top if possible), making sure that the video player is set to start automatically upon visitor arrival*

Step 3: Wait

*Extra, really important note – You can enhance the bounce rate even more by stuffing a really stupid, contextually irrelevant pre-roll ad into that video content and making sure the volume on the player is set at maximum by default. Additionally, if you don’t have any video content, try an auto-starting audio player – it is nearly as effective.

MG signing off (waiting for someone to tell me I’m not alone)