You don’t have an iPhone. Maybe you are happy with your existing phone. You may have just signed a new contract with another carrier. You can’t afford one?

Any way you cut it, society is now labeling you LAME! But never fear - you do have options:

- You can wait for hackers to unlock it (and then pay a $1,500 premium for it)
- You can adopt one (even though it isn’t real)
- There will soon be tons of parts floating around for you to buy (saving yourself assembly labor costs)
- You can buy a knockoff (that isn’t a knockoff)
- Then there’s just faking it

Or, you can just read the money quote of the day:

“This has prompted concerns that the higher than expected demand could lead to iPhone shortages.”

And wonder who the hell is “concerned” that a there may be shortages of a $600 cell phone besides John Dvorak.

UPDATE: You can also…win one (not)