All Posts Tagged Thanksgiving   

Post-Thanksgiving things to be thankful for

November 28th, 2008

A list not worth saving

  • I’m thankful one of my guests yesterday was an attorney.  He’s already threatened to sue me over my cooking and I need a good lawsuit to keep my mind off work this holiday season.
  • US investors should be thankful for the SEC. They’re keeping their priorities straight.
  • The fishing industry should be thankful that nobody weighed this roosterfish.  They’re gonna save a lot of endorsement money as a result.
  • Retailers should be thankful gas prices are plummeting.  Consumer confidence is on the rise, just in time for the holidays.
  • Social network addicts should be thankful they have so many online friends, and that getting rid of them is such a good laugh for the rest of us.

    • And…

  • Those that have written off the mainstream media and its associated lackeys as toddlers in constant need of a new binky should be thankful that there are still some real grownups around.

    • Adieu.

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    A bird in fridge is safer than one over head

    November 26th, 2008

    We’re hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, and the gathering is going to be a little more intimate than in years past. Hence, out goes the 23+ pounder and in comes the 15′er…

    Shrinkage is not so much a result of the number of mouths being fed as the host’s ongoing propensity to hoard leftovers.

    I’d disclose the double-super-top-secret recipe but nobody returned their confidentiality agreement - for those without security clearances I can say it involves lots of paprika, oranges, onions, and honey. The preparation process for the mashers, however, is not classified - once you’ve completed the squashing, make sure to add in a brick of cream cheese and an ample supply of sour cream. Finish with finely hand-diced garlic, lightly sprinkled while churning.

    And don’t forget to bring dessert!

    Happy Thanksgiving to all.

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    Holiday humor for the liberal in you

    November 23rd, 2005

    Actually, you will probably get a chuckle out of this even if you are a moderate Republican. If you live in Utah or Idaho, just move on.

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