Circulating via email, but good enough to share…
At VANDERBILT: It takes two; one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.
At GEORGIA: It takes three; one to change the bulb and two to stabilize the rolling beer keg the bulb changer is using for a ladder — instead of standing it upright.
At FLORIDA: It takes four; one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA: It takes five; one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.
At OLE MISS: It takes six; one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: It takes seven; and each one gets credit for five semester hours.
At KENTUCKY: It takes eight; one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE: It takes ten; two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.
At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen; one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell ‘ GO TO HELL, OLE MISS!’
At AUBURN: It takes one hundred; one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer’s Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000; one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.
At ARKANSAS: None; there is no electricity in Arkansas.