Get to know the beast within, and get yourself some free fly-fishing magazines

drakemagThere is a ferocious beast living in Eastern Idaho. Locals call him Smithzilla, but the world of fly-fishing publications refers to him simply as Bruce Smithhammer. He’s an ornery critter, with razor sharp vision and even more finely-tuned claws, a complete package for the elegant pursuit of steelhead with spey gear down and dirty carp hunting treachery.

Outward appearances aside, Smithzilla is an infinitely complex creature, prone to reciting Pericles, Prince of Tyre while scraping radioactive waste off his boots, sometimes even with his mouth full of leaded chukar. In other words, he’s worth knowing, and I’m here to make sure you do.

The game is simple: answer the following questions about Smithzilla in the comments section; the entrant with the most right answers will receive the five (5) most recent back issues of The Drake Magazine, of which Smithzilla is a frequent contributor. That’s a prize package worth at least…uh…something (since I won’t even send you a 1099)!

1) What significant body of water has Smithzilla kayaked across?

2) Prior to becoming a fishing guide, what else did Smithzilla guide?

3) What is the weirdest thing that Smithzilla has ever eaten?

4) Why does Smithzilla have six screws in his leg?

5) What is the weirdest thing that Smithzilla has ever landed on a fly rod?

I will provide answers to these mysterious questions one week hence, and will be the sole judge of the winner. How you obtain the answers is completely up to you, but please note that factual correctness will not necessarily be deemed “right”. Think of it like a political debate, just without the bad hairpieces. Additionally, be prepared to provide your mailing address directly to me so you can receive your prize.

MG signing off (to spin the Wheel. Of. Fortune.)

Disclaimer: This contest is neither sponsored nor endorsed by The Drake Magazine, its owners, employees, or contributors. The prizes were not pilfered from a fly shop bathroom either.

Comments

Salty says:

I can answer 3 of 5 easily, but I recuse myself.

Tosh says:

1) Lake Eufala during a BASS tournament
2) Mushroom hunters
3) Gar on toast
4) Drill team accident
5) A meth lab snitch

Did I win?

1) The Denver municipal waste water treatment pond
2) The blind: Seeing eye dog
3) MG’s peanut butter and jelly sammich
4) It’s not 6, it’s 7, and I don’t really want to talk about it, again.
5) Herpes

Pete McD says:

This whole post is dangerously bordering on a man crush.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqreR0BzyyI)

This is nothing more than a test run of MG’s new service, the UGR (or..User Generated Roasting).

And if it all works out, you’re next!

1) Gulf of Tonkin

2) Peyote-fueled spirit quests

3) Not going to name names, but she was Armenian

4) To balance out the transistors and flux capacitor in the other

5) Vampire squid

1) Your mom
2) Your mom
3) Your mom
4) Your mom
5) Your mom
(e) All of the above

Not sure whether to disqualify you for cheating, or declare an early winner.

We have a winner folks – Mr. Alex Landeen.

Thank you for spinning the Wheel. Of. Fortune.

It’s uncanny that he knew the answers to all those. He must have inside information.