Along with a letter from the Drake Satellite Editorial Office:
Dear Drake Subscriber (AKA Michael Gracie),
It has come to our attention via numerous sources (wiretaps, etc.) that you have been unsatisfied with the delivery interval in which you receive our esteemed fly fishing publication. While we here at The Drake are committed to providing you with the goods, we must remind you of an important element of etiquette, as well as several points of fact.
First, bitching about your subscription delivery should be performed within the confines of The Drake Forums. We provide this online venue specifically for that purpose. Second, you are, despite intermittent reports to the contrary, a piss poor angler, hardly worthy to complain about other’s work. Then again, you are also too much of a girly-man to join our forum, now aren’t you?
Please accept this copy of The Drake, and recognize you are the first subscriber in the continental US to receive the Summer 2011 issue. However, be forewarned: anything but glowing reviews of this edition will be met with harsh consequences.
The Drake Editorial Staff
PS: Unless you are too dumb to figure it out (a likely scenario), we know where you live. So keep the pie hole shut.
MG signing off (to set up a laser-powered perimeter alarm system)