Mass quantities of precious Free Range Dubbing pilfered from central California vault

Free Range Dubbing fly tying materialThere is no other way to explain the package I just retrieved from the mailbox, particularly given the fact it is common knowledge I mingle with the criminal element. But having admitted as much, there is probably no use in sending it back to the rightful owner, one Keith Barton of Singlebarbed fame, as he’s already distributed samples to the likes of Alex Cerveniak and Pete McDonald. Expecting their more honorable opinions, I imagine.

The bounty purloined on my behalf included the following colors: Caddis Green, Pea Green, Medium Green, Dusky Olive, Dark Olive, Rusty Olive, Brown Olive, Honey Mustard, Yellow Mustard, Caramel Brown, Rust, Dark Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, Gray Brown, Light Gray, Dark Gray, Carbon Gray, and Black Claret. It’s a veritable cornucopia of thorax and abdominal, with the latter being something I can certainly use some work on. Sadly, however, I have little experience with such shades – tan and pink are all I know, and I spend every spare moment tying bonefish flies with it regardless of what putrid carp water I’m fishing the following day. Therefore, I solicited the opinions of bona fide experts in the field of body material, and here is what they had to say…

The Caretaker:

Gracie…this is the finest dubbing I’ve ever seen. Where did you steal this stuff from? I know you’re working in a fly shop, but that doesn’t give you the right to just rip people off! Lemme drive you to counseling; meanwhile I’ll store this dubbing in a safe place until you’ve recovered. – David Luna, Creator of the Cheap Hooker, and 2010 Carp Slam Champion

The Extortionist:

I’m a bit insulted you’d lie to my face like that, Gracie. Nobody just sends out this quality of material, blog review or no blog review. I thought we were better friends than that. You should hand over that dubbing immediately, otherwise I am going to tell everyone where that early summer blanket PMD hatch happens as well as blab about the spot where those resident browns eat mice all day.Nate Taylor, Montana-bred dirt bag fly fisher

And The Capitalist:

These are the greatest blends since sliced bread (which works quite well on fish too). Considering the fact you stole the stuff, we should get an intermediary out in front of the retailers. Here’s the plan – you give me all the dubbing, and I’ll call Goldman Sachs. What do you think is fair…a 75/25 split my way, after you cover the brokerage fees?Barry Reynolds, world-renown coarse fisher, and David Luna’s nemesis

Clearly the stuff is top notch, with an iridescent shimmer you simply cannot acquire from DeBeers, let alone your local fly shop’s materials wall. After I’ve run out of #2 saltwater hooks I’m definitely going to get down and dirty with some stonefly nymphs and caddis patterns. If I’m extra lucky though, the hackle-in-hair craze will morph into dubbing fashion, the fairer persuasion will be lined up at my door, and I can give up fly tying for eternity about thirty seconds.

MG signing off (to find some friends who aren’t just after my dubbing samples)

Editor’s note: while the dubbing pictured above may have been obtained via surreptitious channels, you can get some yourself by contacting KBarton directly.

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