Tag: adventure travel

Fly-Fishing DirtBag(s)

non·de·script
/ˌnändəˈskript/

adjective
1. lacking distinctive or interesting features or characteristics.
“he carries nondescript bags while traveling in third-world countries so as to attract minimal attention”

synonyms: undistinguished, unremarkable, unexceptional, featureless, characterless, faceless, unmemorable, lackluster;

antonyms: flashy, brand-conscious, compensating for something, the sucker P.T. Barnum was talking about.

dirtbags

Hidden within are enough Scott fly rods, Abel reels, and Airflo lines – critical implements exceptionally engineered – to complete the task at hand. Not forgotten: the Frodo Baggins apparel and medical supplies (including antibiotics and a suture kit – nice having friends in surgical professions). Also, flies … fancy too. Plus the ones yours truly tied.

MG signing off (because only poor workmen blame their tools – the rest pin failure on their nasty hangovers)

Upgraded for maximum situational effectiveness

Simms Vibram-soled boots kick felt butt around the water, and run a close second in it. But like racy motor cars, an upgrade to the rubber can further increase performance. Sometimes the situation requires you go big, or go home.

simmsalumibitecleats

The latter is not an option. Meanwhile, understanding my upcoming opponent is significantly nimbler than I, tuning for maximum efficacy was required.

MG signing off (to hit “the track” just seven days from now)

Grilled meat requires sauce

My friend Nick Kelley is headed south, way south. As in the farther reaches of the Southern hemisphere.

Eventually he will find trout, but right this moment (or within the last six hours) he is departing for Santiago, via Caracas. From the looks of the pics he’s sending back, it is obvious he lingered for a bit on the last stop…

Careless Bonefish

Follow Nick’s travels, in photo, via A Pursuit of Chimichurri.

MG signing off (because I bet I could catch a few of those careless bonefish with a piece of grilled meat)

‘Best Job in the World’ description suspiciously missing fish population data and fly gear needs

michaeltheclimber-sm

No worries – you aren’t getting the job anyway

The Gist

The Queensland, Australia tourism board is offering to plant one lucky applicant on an island in the Great Barrier Reef chain for six months, and pay a cool $105,000 for doing so. Your general job description is to lay around, swim, dive, etc., and you’ll probably have a satellite up/down link so you can blog about it too.

Suspiciously missing from the job description is much mention of the fly fishing opportunities, or whether there is going to be a closet full of shiny new graphite and titanium waiting for you when you get there. I’m gonna tell you the bad news before the really bad news – there aren’t too many of these swimming around, but if you have a pile of 13-15 weights I think there are still a few black marlin records to be broken. Now for the really bad news (for you, at least)…

watchforcrocs

Why You Need Not Apply

The answer to the above is simple – you’re swimming with the crocs (i.e. you won’t get the job). Reason? I am the most qualified!

First and foremost, I’m much better looking than you are. If that isn’t enough, I grew up in a tropical locale so I’m intimately familiar with the concept of warm ocean breezes, sand between my toes, as well as how to pass off pink umbrellas in my pints. On that note, I can drink more beer than you without falling down, a skill that was refined where else….ta da….in Australia!

Yep – I once lived there, and I’ve still got the old work visa to prove it. The government literally begged me to stay, including bribing me with a lifetime supply of Coopers Ale (little did they know XXXX was my favorite…hear that Queensland…wink wink). Parliament wanted to add another holiday to the national schedule, Michael Gracie Day, which was to precede both Christmas and Boxing Day. I was asked to captain the favored boat on the Sydney to Hobart race, even though I don’t know how to sail. The powers that be gave me an honorary Advanced Open Water Diver certification and then sent me to the Coral Sea on the QE II. I climbed Uluru (translation for losers: Ayers Rock) in thirty minutes flat, babysat at the local wombat rescue shelter, and wrestled reptilian monsters on Lizard Island. Hell…my best friends in the US are fricken Australians. They may not admit it, but they missed me so much they followed me back here – I might as well exchange passports now.

Conclusion

I know precisely what ‘flat out like a lizard drinking’ means and you don’t – a friendly reminder to you to call the unemployment office because this gig is mine.

Out with the old office view
syndeyofficeview-sm

In with the new
michaelthediver-sm

And did I mention the bonefish are hard to come by?

Editor’s note: that whole there’s no fly fishing to be had meme is a ruse – I’m just trying to discourage you because the job application server is running slow. But you have to admit…I’m a walking talking travel agency ad, eh?