Tag: excuses

The Old and Bitter

YOURS TRULY: I need that signed document as soon as possible.

THE IMPETUOUS: I sent it two weeks ago via Priority Mail.

YOURS TRULY: Ok…thanks.

[two minutes eleven seconds later]

THE IMPETUOUS: Have you checked your mail in the last two weeks?!

YOURS TRULY: Uh…I’ve been fishing.

[nine seconds later]

THE IMPETUOUS: That’s what I thought.

YOURS TRULY: Hmm…almost sounds like nagging.

THE IMPETUOUS: I hereby declare that is precisely what it is.


The old and bitter hold steadfast on the shop floor, waxing irritably of bygone days i.e. before anglers wore Buffs on the rivers. Then claim they are the reason Buffs exist to begin with. The audience would rather choose their flies and GTFO. Sitting at the bench, mumbling to yet another derivation of the RS2, dreams of book contracts dance in their heads. Only five copies will ever sell. Damn that YouTube.

No time to sum up a fishing story. Because there isn’t one. Gas prices are too high, enthusiastic friends are few, and/or the lawn needed mowing.

THE OLD AND BITTER: You put in as much time as I have and you would be old and bitter too.

NOT SO INNOCENT BYSTANDER: Not a chance. Nobody is getting dragged into that grave you’re digging but yourself.

The rest are having the times of their lives, casually deferring the tales to those that can tell them better. Getting hassled for having so much fun, and finding fun in that too.

MG signing off (because Chupacabras exist, and so do old, bitter fly anglers)

Fly Fishing Tip #1682: Have Plenty of Excuses

Yesterday the catch was a grand total seven fish between three people – to add insult to injury the largest was a foul hooked tandem streamer victim that couldn’t be included in the count. Thankfully, however, we follow tip #1682 around here – included are:

  • Got up too early
  • Truck stop didn’t have enough Krispy Kremes for everyone
  • Snagged all nymphs in the first five casts
  • 50 knot winds
  • Eggs were the wrong color
  • Alert from watch’s fishing calculator said “NO FISH”
  • Flows cut 20% the day before
  • Cold feet and lower legs made stepping on sinking line all too easy
  • Fish kept snapping 3X tippet
  • Moon set at 2pm
  • Numb hands made tying blood knots impossible
  • Forgot the scotch
  • Seeking additional excuses to add to the arsenal.