Tag: fishing report

The antithesis of an online fly-fishing report

According to FFRS (Fly-fishing Report Standards) Section 8614, all weblog-based fly-fishing reports must contain the following:

1) A brief introduction with dates, times, and people participating on the trip;

2) Details of waters fished, and flies used, including accurate data regarding flows and temperature, and fly color and size;

3) Use of simile and metaphor to draw the reader into the experience;

4) Descriptions of fish caught, including breed, size (length and girth measurements), and general appearance;

5) “Hero shot” photos;

6) Use of the words slaughter, marauder, or killing should be avoided whenever possible;

7) “Smack talking” should also be avoided so as to not alienate the reader.

You got all that? Ok, here we go…

The Report

I fished four waters this last weekend – a big tailwater, a small freestone, a large freestone, and a private pond. You probably didn’t, and I don’t feel the least bit sorry for you either.

I provided a little advice here and there, and everyone I was with caught fish. I, however, beat the living crap out of fish. We fished big stuff down low, small stuff down low, double dries, and dry droppers. I crushed fish no matter the technique.

I got a few pictures of compadres, but no hero shots. Many of the fish were too fricken big to hold out for the camera, and since I fished a noodle of a rod the whole time the fights were extended – I pretty much unhooked, revived and released using FFRS designated “ASAP” guidelines. I’ve got a number of witnesses to the events, but in some cases they had to sign confidentiality agreements ahead of time – so they may or may not choose to validate my summary. But, we all had a great time – that point is undeniable.

MG signing off (to conform to specifications)