Tag: permit

Destination charges not included

When engaged in fly-fishing travel off the beaten path, it is important to follow a rigorously tested set of guidelines, thereby ensuring a prosperous expedition. Thankfully, yours truly is a bonafide hack certified beta tester for adventure travel policies and procedures, and since I got stiffed on my retainer didn’t request compensation for the latest excursion, I am going to outline a few of the more important points fearing no copyright, trademark or other infringement …

  1. When your mothership runs a hundred-fifty nautical miles of ten-foot seas on one screw, the outfitter may proffer a liter of tequila as compensation for the suffering [of those who didn’t discover the magic of Sea-Bands when they were six years old]. When this happens, be sure to consume the entire bottle within a few short hours, then strategically place the empty bottle in a plainly visible location. This sends a clear message: you are tougher than nails and cannot be beat want more tequila. Lots more. An alternative approach is to get yourself some Sea-Bands, sell them to another in the group that is seasick, and then you will have money to buy more tequila for yourself.
  2. tequila bottle

    Message in a bottle

  3. If you are sharing an island with roughly 1010,000 … 10,000,000 migratory fowl that squawk in unison all hours of the day and night, carry earplugs (which just so happen to be equally effective on the wood-cutting noise that emanates from sleeping anglers). Further, if you are hunkering down in a partially blown out storm shelter, be sure to note the vertical height of crumbling plaster on the interior walls a.k.a. the flood line. If said measure exceeds two feet, as it did in this test case, sleep on an air mattress; if a hurricane sweeps through you can float to safety. Lastly, do not under any circumstances leave whatever windows that remain in this habitat open – at least half of those previously mentioned birds will swoop through and subsequently crash into a wall at breakneck speed. They usually recover, but it is nevertheless not a pretty sight to watch.
  4. (more…)

Must-have tunes for those who haven’t caught a permit on the fly (yet)

Three sets of dorsal fins head up the beach of Mary’s Bay, Little Cayman Island. You’ve blown three shots this morning already and aren’t about to miss another. Standing in waist deep water sixty feet from the sand, you cast perpendicular towards shore, betting the permit will cross your fly’s path. You’ll give that Merkin a twitch, and then wham!

When the group are no more than ten feet from your line they stop dead, take a 90 degree turn right, following your line’s path towards you. You are a statue. They swim around you, not ten feet away, and you can see each is pushing the 20 el bee mark. They then follow your line’s path back towards the beach, and when they reach the point where they initially changed direction, they make another sharp right hand turn and continue their prowling up the shoreline. You are at once bewildered and downtrodden. And amazed at what you’ve just seen take place.

What do the following songs have to do with that [true] story? Absolutely nothing before I compiled the list, and it’ll only make sense to you after you’ve hit yourself in the back of the head with a crab pattern just when what you really needed was one perfect cast.

Methodically mixed…

1 ) And It Stoned Me – Van Morrison
2 ) Dirty Laundry – Don Henley
3 ) Exodus – Bob Marley
4 ) Going Back to Cali – LL Cool J
5 ) Landfall – Jimmy Buffett
6 ) Long Training Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers
7 ) Rat in Mi Kitchen – UB40
8 ) Rock the Casbah – The Clash
9 ) Runnin’ Down a Dream – Tom Petty
10 ) She Talks To Angels – The Black Crowes
11 ) Shelter – The Brand New Heavies
12 ) Steppin’ Out – Steel Pulse
13 ) Sultans of Swing – Dire Straits
14 ) The Devil Went Down To Georgia – Charlie Daniels Band
15 ) The Fly – U2
16 ) Rat Race – Jeremy Cameron
17 ) Tribute – Tenacious D
18 ) Trouble In My Brain – Sunnyboys
19 ) What Difference Does It Make – The Smiths

MG signing off (to show reverence to permit – they be my nemesis)

ESPN saves the fishing day

The International Game Fish Association

Even if you’re anti-TV

┬áSandy Moret’s Florida Keys Outfitters and the IGFA Inshore World Championship giveth, and ESPN giveth some more (emphasis mine):

ESPN Outdoors announced Tuesday that the 2009 Florida Keys Outfitters IGFA Inshore World Championship will be broadcast as part of the second year of the ESPN Outdoors Saltwater Series on ESPN2 and will be presented on other ESPN Outdoors multimedia platforms, including daily tournament coverage at www.ESPNOutdoors.com.

The goings are gettin’ in the middle of the week (July 7th to 9th), so nobody will have any excuse (i.e. gone fishing) for not checking in – no dummies those ESPN Outdoors folks. And I’m curious – do these tourney players roll with class tippets?