The Bikini-Clad Fly-Fishing Girls Mayan calendar is almost out of pages to flip, and I have been somewhat…choke, cough, choke, cough…inconsistent in my fly-fishing endeavors this year. Kind of like the BLS’s labor reports, only fly-fishing isn’t particularly laborious.
Albert Einstein once said “the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” The truly learned and wise just blame it on the flies. Hence, I introduce to you the…uh…carp fly box for the post-graduate generation?
The left side of the box are my half-baked knockoffs of real fly anglers’ patterns. The other side comes from one Scott Spooner, the newest addition to the Taylor Creek crew. And a fine addition indeed. You may have heard of Mr. Spooner’s fly tying obsession acumen through the infamous Nate O’ Taylor blog. Nevertheless, the eternal skeptic in me decided to put the hot shot to the test – I mean who on God’s green earth can’t tie a fricken trout fly (that is, besides yours truly)? I then
pulled some unachievable bullshit out of my ass, kind of like my professor did back in Finance 4905 developed an intricately detailed test: produce some flies for quarry that he is not familiar with, based on a detailed set of specifications:
1) They must fly straight at upwards of 200 mph (or 20 mph in the case of my best casts);
2) They must have lots of profile, and bulging eyes and flailing tentacles (akin to how I look in a strip club); and
3) When they land they must sit upright (unlike how I am usually positioned at my desk).
Doctor Spooner knows how to follow instructions (or he wouldn’t be a doctor, so shut your cakehole), and produced the following…