Michael Gracie

A Practical Guide To Getting Started With Bitcoin

Bitcoin is like cold fusion: It’s had a difficult childhood. Those few in the field are orphans, bastards at best.1

I’ve often wondered if Bitcoin would shed its thick glasses and step out into the real world, but until recently I had neither the time nor inclination to find out. However, I follow the commodities markets quite closely, and recently came across mention of it in an ETF manager’s research report. That prompted me to ask around, and what I heard back intrigued me, in an anti-groupthink sort of way.

Bitcoin will never be good for anything except buying drugs; It’s bullshit technology … smartphone games and hookup apps are where it’s at; Bitcoin can’t be used for marketing so why would I want to mess with it?

Shot down, over and over again. But it was the steadfast, verbatim answer to one question that got me thinking:

YOURS TRULY: Do you have any Bitcoin? Do you know how to get any?


Maybe nothing had changed, and Bitcoin was still an artifice lurking on basement computers and circulating the “dark web”. However, seeing as nobody I talked to had any Bitcoin, mentioned they’d tried to acquire any Bitcoin, or seemed interested in doing so, I surmised this might just be a case of bad press, combined with the inexplicable desire of the self-professed psuedo-technorati to leverage their free time posting geo-tagged photos of their lunch plates.

Hence, I invested some otherwise scarce time to test my contrarian theory.

What follows is the quasi-organized regurgitation of an endeavor seeking out the simplest, most practical way, if any, for the layman to dip their toes in the Bitcoin waters. Cold water too, so those following wouldn’t get burned. It probably isn’t the path of least resistance – it requires a time commitment – but you will not have to spend a dime of your hard earned, government-issued currency to find a pot of gold gather some spare change.

And of course, learn something new. Like does Bitcoin have legs? Does it have any applicability to the present financial system? Can I acquire Bitcoin without meeting some cartel member in a dark alley?

But first, what is Bitcoin?

If you are technically adept I highly suggest reading the original Bitcoin white paper (PDF), authored by the enigmatic Satoshi Nakamoto, inventor of Bitcoin. For the other 99.99%: the Bank for International Settlements calls Bitcoin a digital currency with an embedded decentralised payment mechanism based on the use of a distributed ledger.